I find myself in grief again, with the knowing that this will not be the last time I experience loss. I am also reminded that loss is not just the loss of someone, although that loss may well be the most impactful; it can also be the loss of love, of respect, of connection, understanding, adoration, community, and so on. With each and any loss there is a process we may find ourselves immersed in. It may move in different stages, or not. It may last awhile, or not. It may ebb and flow, or not. But one thing I have found with all of the losses that have arrived in my life, is that they have always come with some form of pain.
I have been in the presence of end of life transition many times in my life. Present at the very moment that the life force energy of an individual, as well as an animal, has left for good. I have seen the last breath taken, witnessing the exact moment that a living being has left their respective physical form. I have seen that process be a great struggle, and I have witnessed it as a great gift, and the in between. I have witnessed this shift, if you will, be comforted by those holding space for the one transitioning, and comfort being provided by those leaving to those who will be left behind. It is an organic process that has many ways of unfolding and expressing itself. In my humble experience, there is no one way for this all to come about.
And in this understanding I have equally understood that there is no one way to feel the pain of this either. For it may come firstly, even before the actually loss has occurred, as a soft knowing of what is to come. And in that first soft knowing, that may not actually be consciously known, it may then continue as a gentle feeling of tenderness, vulnerability, perhaps growing into an ache, soreness around the heart, a sinking in the gut, a heaviness of the mind. Then the moment arrives when the actual loss is realized and the breath, feeling as if it has been sucked from your lungs, leaves you with the feeling that you can barely breathe. Your neck becomes stiff, your back pulls, barely able to hold itself up, your shoulders experience a crushing feeling unable to support the heavy weight of your grief. It is a complete and utter full body and mind experience. And then it is over. They have gone, or the “it” situation has gone, the moment of losing whatever it was you lost has left forever, and you are now left with how to heal.
How to heal; do we even know where to begin? Do we really understand how to allow ourselves permission to begin the process of knowing what we so desperately need to heal? Do we honor the Body, Mind connection? What will we do in this moment? What have we done for moments like this? What will we do now?
For me, I will feed myself good food. I will give my body the care it needs. I will give my mind the comfort and tenderness it desires. I will be authentically bold and courageous in doing all of these things. And in doing so, may I be so humble as to hope, this “doing” will inspire others to do the same.
Chiropractic care helps our body function in the way it is meant to. It assists in restoring the optimal body mind connection that we are meant to experience for a life well lived. A life that is capable of supporting all that arises, however challenging. Getting adjusted will be part of my healing process. May it be part of yours, if you so find yourself in need of healing, if you so find yourself in a body that has stored grief which may have manifested in pain. Be well.